


Male pregnancy by other unintentional source

by blcwriter



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Angst, Crack Treated Seriously, Inspired by another LJ fic, M/M, Mpreg, Originally Posted on LiveJournal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-28
Updated: 2015-06-28
Packaged: 2018-04-06 15:17:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4226808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blcwriter/pseuds/blcwriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I had, once, intended to turn this into a multi-chaptered fic, or even a bigbang, with lots more crack of the Enterprise crew nesting with Jim and ganging up on Bones and everyone trying get Jim and oblivious!Bones together.  As of now, however, this remains unfinished.</p></blockquote>





	Male pregnancy by other unintentional source

Title: Male pregnancy by other unintentional source   
Author: blcwriter   
Rating: PG-13   
Summary: For this weekend's "FML" flash-fic challenge at jim_and_bones for the prompt "I'm pregnant. Did I mention I'm male? FML." emiliglia , only for you. Also, this may want to turn into something long and ridiculous, and the fic intentionally pays homage to toastedtea 's "Accidental Marriage" fic because oh, do I love it. And in a more backhanded way, to anne_higgins ' excellent "Bun In the Oven" mpreg series, which is one of the best Trek mpreg stories out there.

( Collapse )  
“Just tell me—how the hell did this happen?” I mean, really. I had reports to fill out. Official ones, even. Male pregnancy caused by third party intervention, flora, technology malfunction or other unintentional source 182c. As compared to Male pregnancy caused by reporter’s agency 182b. And soon, because the way this thing was growing—really, really, alarmingly fast, gestating like a motherfucking time-elapse movie so that my sweatpants were already tight—I was going to be showing by tomorrow’s vidconference with Pike. Better to have the form in his comm queue well before I headed off to bed later tonight. 

Bones shook his head, looking pissed off and puzzled. “Damned if I know. You ate the same shit as everyone else, Chapel scanned it all for additives, the usual stuff, and so far Scotty and Chekov haven’t been able to come up with any weird energy flares down on the planet from the ship’s scanners.” He ran his hand through his hair, then scrubbed his hand over his forehead. “Did you touch anyone? Touch anything?” 

“No, I didn’t fucking touch anything. Jesus Christ, I’m a captain, not a fucking toddler, you were there the whole time! We went down, had the meeting, ate dinner, I talked to the priestess during the tour, came back, and I woke up this morning puking my guts out!” 

Fuck. Sometimes it was like we were still at the Academy—and as much as I loved Bones—I mean, loved Bones, really—the guy still sometimes acted like I didn’t know my ass from my elbow and had to be protected from things like whether my tea was too hot. Which was a problem, really. 

I mean, I wanted more, he was my best friend, the best CMO in the universe, no holds barred, all that shit—but even I knew, fuck-up at the relationships thing as I was, that if he didn’t really think I was a grownup capable of taking care of myself then there was no way on Earth that something between us would work. Which was why I hadn’t said anything to him—because even though we had good times, he still fussed at me like I was a moron sometimes and didn’t know how to wipe my own ass, much less fire photon torpedoes. If he didn’t trust me, I just couldn’t say something. 

Which sucked. Big time. But still. 

“You talked to the priestess,” Bones said, honing in on that bit. Great. Because—well. We’d been talking about him. We really needed to stop discovering empath-type planets with sweet old lady priestesses who looked like my Grandma Mo. Who could make male captains pregnant. With their goddamned feelings. “What did you say?” 

“I certainly didn’t tell her oh, hey, I’d like to wake up with a baby!!!” Just that I wished there was some way to prove to Bones that I was a serious, responsible person—that I always had been—and that I knew how to take care of myself and the people around me. It fucking hurt that he didn’t seem to think I knew what I was doing, when the fact was, I’d always taken care of myself and my friends, whether or not he agreed with the whys and wherefores of how I went about it. The fact still was, I got it done at the end of the day. And the priestess, she’d seemed to understand— oh, fuck me…. 

“I may throw up on you. A lot. Now.” He didn’t move quite fast enough to avoid the projectile puke of emotionally-fraught situational realization plus straight out newly alien-pregnant starship captain—his poor shirt was soaked and man, he looked pissed, but what’s a guy to do when he’s got morning sickness? 

Grandma Mo, nothing. That priestess was going to have some explaining to do. Right after I got Bones some new shirts.

**Author's Note:**

> I had, once, intended to turn this into a multi-chaptered fic, or even a bigbang, with lots more crack of the Enterprise crew nesting with Jim and ganging up on Bones and everyone trying get Jim and oblivious!Bones together. As of now, however, this remains unfinished.


End file.
